Life this week

• I was given the responsibility of tying up all my father's lose ends.
• I had to choose a lawyer, make plane reservations to go to Florida again, and try to decide what to do with the stuff that Dad left behind. (still haven't made any final decisions on this yet)
• I was totally distracted, but still got a 98% on my Chemistry quiz.
• I have found a chipmunk or two in my house this week on several different occasions. I keep seeing them go either out the door or into one of our couches. We are now keeping our back door closed, but the open door is our only way of getting fresh air into the bottom back of our house.
• I have gone from beyond stressed (evidence of this...crying during Chemistry class, having that awful sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, not wanting to eat, can't sleep, pacing the floor, and not being able to make a simple decision) to very peaceful and relaxed within two days. MUCH PRAYER and a GREAT GOD!!!
• I have lost 6 pounds in the past 2 weeks. If things continue as they have I will be at my dream weight in 3.1 weeks!!!
• I had to order school books this week. MAJOR decisions had to be made, and I truly feel like we made the right ones!!!
• Talked to my sister more this week than I have in my entire life.
• I became a mom of TWO teenagers this week. Emily turned 13 on July 9th.
• I actually still have M&Ms in a bag that I opened last week!! NEW record for me....normally I could finish it off in one day without any problem.
• I was found swinging on the swing at the playground at 5:45 in the morning.
• This weekend I will be studying for mid terms.

God's hand

I would absolutely hate to go through again what I went through this past weekend, but to feel the hand of my God just holding me so close will always be a desire of mine!!! IF I ever thought that God was not real and that life just happened by chance, this past weekend would have cleared my head and I would never think such ridiculous thoughts ever again!!!! He is REAL and He is in total control of every last detail of this vast universe. Praise you Jesus!

Yes, I am so passionate about the hand of God!! I am going to recount as many details as I can about this past weekend. I want to praise Him for taking such great care of me during this horrible time.

Dad past away on Saturday, June 27. The first sight of God's hand started on the Friday afternoon before Dad died. I have mentioned before that we live here on a camp. There were at least 23 different families here that week, but just the right family stopped outside my house that afternoon to discuss my dying roses. While we were talking, out of nowhere they mentioned that two of their family members would be flying out tomorrow and heading down to St. Pete/Clearwater on Allegiant Air for a conference. We started talking all about how that is the exact airport that I would be flying into in Aug. when I go down to see my dad. We laughed and talked a few minutes and then ended our conversation. I thought nothing of that conversation until about two hours after I found out about my dad's death. It was then that I realized....hey maybe I could fly down with them and they could get me to my dad's house. I ran up the hill and asked if they would be willing to get me to my dad's, if I could get a flight out with them. They were more than willing to get me to my dad's. All I had to do was get the ticket. I went to buy the ticket, but Allegiant was going to charge me A LOT!!!! I hung up the phone to go find Jeff and to find out what he thought that I should do. He wanted me to be able to go and not be worried about spending that much money. I just wasn't sure that I could do it. At the exact moment that Jeff and I were discussing the money, in walked the mom of the family that I would be flying with. She heard my concern about the money and left immediately. She returned no longer than 2 minutes later with her check book and wanted to pay for the ENTIRE flight!!!! I of course started to cry and then hurried back up to my house to make the reservations. When I called back God allowed me to talk to a different person who gave me a $100.00 discount on the ticket!!! I was so excited to be able to give that money back to that family. Thank you God.

My flight down was awesome. I got to sit next to this total stranger and his family. The man was very good at distracting me and keeping me in conversation the entire two hours. I learned a lot about him and he was so much like my dad. It was amazing to me the similarities between the two of them. The best part was yet to come though. Right before we got off the plane the gentleman said, "Hey, I never introduced myself. My name is Teddy." I started to laugh and cry and through my tears I said, "That was my dad's name!" God could have had me sit anywhere on that plane or had that family sit somewhere else, but he chose to have us sit together. I will cherish that seat assignment for as long as I live.

I was driven to my dad's that night. My dad's girlfriend lives right next door so I went to her house to get the keys to his house. She was not happy at all that I was there. She felt violated that I showed up. I really think that she thought that I came to take his stuff. I couldn't have cared less about taking his stuff I just wanted to be in his house with his stuff. I wanted to feel close to him, sleep in his bed, and just cry all night long, but she would not allow me to do it. I never fought, I just obeyed and said, "Okay" Then I went for a walk and prayed to my Heavenly Father. I begged God to change her heart....I so wanted to be in his house. When I returned from my walk I had a great idea. I asked her, if she would like to come over there and sleep in his house too. Her attitude changed immediately. She said, "Yes, I would like that." So that is what we did. Many other times that weekend when all I could do was pray, God changed attitudes!!! God was in control and He was just holding me through it all. I felt Him like never before.

There was only one thing that I wanted of my father's and it was a coin that he carried in his wallet. At one point I told Debi, his girlfriend, about wanting the coin. She informed me that she had already taken it. I was disappointed at first, but God came to the rescue once again. He brought to my memory something that I had seen years ago. Someone had made a quilt out of there son's Tshirts to remember him by. I immediately asked Debi for some of Dad's plaid shirts. She told me that I could have them ALL!!! I was so excited. That coin wouldn't have really been that special to me. Knowing me I probably would have lost it anyway, but the quilt...I will cherish forever. My mother-in-law is going to try to get it made for me by this Christmas!!

I so see God's hand in my timing of being there. I am not sure that Debi ever saw it, but I truly believe that she needed me there. We grieved together and I believe that we have a bond that we wouldn't have had other wise. I must admit it was very tough at times, but I am thankful for that time.

The last detail that God had to work out was finding me a ride back to the airport. I tried all my old high school friends, but nothing worked out. I was not worried, just fascinated to see how God was going to get this done. In the midst if this weekend I had an urgent question to be asked.....so I posted my question on Facebook. In my question I mentioned Bradenton, FL. I got a response back from one of my friends who lives right outside of Bradenton. I wrote back and asked her if there was any way that she could take me to the airport on Tuesday afternoon. I figured that she would have to work, but at least I should ask. Wouldn't you KNOW IT....she had Tuesday off this week and she was more than happy to take me!!!!

On Saturday I was worried that I would have a hard time leaving Dad's place, but after all I had been through.....coming home seem liked the only thing that I wanted to do!!! God's hand knew right were to take me....home safely to my family.

Forever Daddy's girl!!!

I write this post with a VERY sad heart!!

This morning the first man in my life to ever....

• hug me
• smile at me
• call me Baby
• listen to my endless chatter
• support me in everything I ever did (except when I paid too much for something)
• cry when I had to leave him
• cry whenever I came to visit him
• taught me how to Garage Sale without paying much for anything
• share his good looks with me (HAHA)
• make me feel special
• tell me he loved me
• not let me get too emotional about anything
• teach me how to use EVERY dish in the house before I did dishes
• introduce me to hours of watching golf on Sunday afternoons
• mail me long letters just about every week my first year away from home
• show me what one's house would look like, if they became a PACK RAT (because of his wonderful example....I SAVE NOTHING!!!)
• made me feel that nothing was more important than me

had a massive heart attack and will never be able to do any of these things ever again. Oh how I miss my dad already. My life will NEVER be the same again.

I am back

It has been so long since I posted that it would take me forever to catch up.....so I will take the lazy way out!! I am just going to post pictures of two things that happened this week and explain them a little bit. I will post more next time.

This first series is of the time that I lost Joel in the house. I looked all over the house and called his name several times, but got no response. Then I heard a sucking sound. I went toward the sound and this is what I found.





Joel grinds his teeth so badly at night while he sleeps, that the orthodontist told us to keep giving him his paci during the night. I take the paci away every morning and keep it in a "safe" place for the day. Apparently this day Joel just couldn't wait for bed time!! (Yes..the boy's paci is PINK. It was the only color available one desperate day at Walmart!!!)


This next series is of camp entertainment at its best!

When I came out of my house there were some other boys out there watching too, but they left while I was running to my house to get my camera. It was such a cute sight to see the lawn littered with boys just staring up at this tree being cut down. NO GIRLS in sight.

Random happenings of today

1. Joel put a piece of apple in our toaster oven, turned it on to 500 degrees, and made our house smell that awful burning smell.
2. I took the children to the beach for the afternoon.
3. I left our backdoor open, which made it easy for a humming bird to enter our house, caught humming bird in a Tupperware container, and took humming bird outside again.
4. Talked on the phone to SEVERAL people, I did not call one of them.
5. Got up at 5:45 this morning to roll out cinnamon rolls, took a nap after dinner tonight, and will probably be up well into tomorrow morning.
6. Allowing the girls to have a sleepover tonight!!

Boys like boy things

Today Joel and I were at Rite Aid to get his prescription. (He apparently has the starting of Pneumonia) The pharmacy was running a little behind, so we spent some time in the toy aisle while waiting. I so wish that I had a video of our time in that aisle. It was very entertaining and enlightening for sure. Since I do not have a video, I will try my best to convey what took place. Imagine a toy aisle with "girl" toys on one side and "boy" toys on the other. As soon as we walked to the aisle, Joel ran to the "boy" side. He talked nonstop about each of the toys hanging there. "Mommy, I need this plane. I need this gun so I can shoot Hayden. I need this ball. I want this car." His little eyes were so huge and excited about all the toys. We spent about 10 minutes in this state, walking back and forth and him retelling me all the toys he needed. I went over to the "girls" side and picked out a doll. I interrupted Joel mid sentence to show him the pretty little doll that was in my hands. I half expected him to say, "I need that baby." But he wasn't the least bit interested. Instead he stopped talking, turned toward the doll, and just stared at it for about 4 seconds. Then just as quickly he turned back around and started talking about all the "boy" things. It really intrigued me. I waited about 5 more minutes and the whole thing repeated itself. He looked at that doll as if it were an alien. It was the funniest thing to me. There is NO denying that he is ALL boy!! And I LOVE him so much!!! There is no way that a person could convince me that boys and girls are alike. I never trained Joel to LOVE tools, cars, guns, dirt, and balls. It is totally just natural!!

One more thing, Joel said something cute the other day and I just have to share it! He wanted to call my mom to let her know that the car that she bought him now had bad batteries in it. I let him call just so that she could hear him talk to her. He and mom talked for some time about the car. At one point to keep the conversation going, Mom asked him, "Joel what kind of batteries does it need?" He looked at the phone for a second and then replied, "Uhhh GOOD ONES!"

She said it!

Yesterday Amy had been outside for sometime when she noticed this bush in our front yard.

She came running into the house and excitedly proclaimed, "Mommy, Daddy our thorn bush is growing ROSES!!"

I understand her confusion. Indeed this little bush does seem more like a thorn bush than a rose bush, because it only has roses for about three weeks a year!!

Pictures

These pictures were taken recently. I sure wish that I could get some good pictures of all the children! Which doesn't seem possible right now, because Joel runs from the camera and Lauren and Daniel do a grown up version of running away....they give me really weird looks and won't smile. So for the two children that enjoy getting their picture taken here's what I got!

First camp of the season

Yesterday was the first day of this Family Camp season. God is teaching me a lot already. The main thing I am concentrating on is....take it one day at a time! I don't know if you struggle like I do, but I often overwhelm myself by worrying about the future. This is going to sound bad, but this is truly one of my deepest thoughts. I honestly see myself stuck here at this camp for the next 50 years....I see no way out!! I know though that I must stop thinking like that. God tells us to not worry about tomorrow, today has enough concerns of its own. I have done well so far, well I did great until this afternoon and then I blew it for about 30 min., but I am doing much better now. I am trying to live moment by moment!!

We are home

Jeff and I had a BLAST!!!!

I now have a new second love though....walking on a treadmill while watching cable TV. The hotel had two of the most awesome machines!!! The TV was attached to each treadmill, so I got to watch whatever home improvement show I wanted and Jeff watched whatever sports show he wanted!!! We walked for about 4 miles side by side on those things!! Since we do not have cable TV at our house, walking on the treadmill was so exciting that way!!! I so could have walked ALL day on that machine, but I was not about to waste ALL my alone time with my hubby!! Think of the weight I could lose though, if I just owned one of those things!!

The children did just fine...at least they were fine when we got home. I will not share the scary stories with you that were told to me when I walked in the front door.