Judith?

While I was down at the beach today, someone asked me if everything was okay. She continued to say that I just didn't seem to be the same Judith that she knows. My heart ached when she asked that question. I denied that anything was wrong, but the truth be told, I am not the same Judith that I was. I have been through a lot this past year and I haven't quite gotten back to my normal self. The fear of man has enslaved me! There is one particular person in my life that doesn't like me and it kills me everyday to see this person. I want to be liked by them SO badly that I dream about them apologizing to me and becoming one of my closest friends. I have prayed more about this one issue than anything else in my life. Even though I want this relationship restored, God showed me this week my lack of love for this person. It is hard to love someone that doesn't like you! PRIDE at its best (or worst depending on how you look at it)! I am not supposed to love someone just because of how they make me feel. I am to love someone just because Christ commands me to!! This fear of man and lack of love have saturated my whole life. So no, I am not the same Judith, but with God's help I hope to be soon!!


(Karen, please keep this to yourself and I shouldn't discuss with you who this person is. I love you, Friend!!)