Something very freeing happened to me today! I have compared myself with a certain person for YEARS!!! I have never measured up to what I saw her as. I always felt like a failure as a mom, because she just always seemed to be doing it ALL right! Today was my day of discovery! Let me explain. This friend has traveled with Life Action for the past 13 or more years. She has always had a school teacher to teach her children, a family assistant to watch her children whenever she wanted (well maybe not whenever, but almost whenever), nine months out of the year she didn't have to cook for her family, and her husband had two or three months off a year (he did have meetings during some of those times off, but often he had the time off). In the midst of all these HARDSHIPS she was able to be a SUPER mom. She has NEVER lost her patience once in my midst, she is absolutely beautiful and skinny, her house is always clean and smelling great, and she is so happy. I have seen her love for her children and I have envied it! I knew that she had it a lot easier than me all these years, but I was sure that she would be the perfect mom, if she were in my shoes! I am so excited to tell you all that I was wrong!! God is taking this special friend down a different road now. She and her family are leaving Life Action and ALL the HARDSHIPS that I spoke of. She now has the opportunity to be walking in shoes very similar to mine, but.....she is not sure she wants to!!! Did you catch that? She is not sure she wants to or if she can handle it. She is considering sending her children to a Christian School. The responsibility of teaching her children scares her (just like it scares me every single day of my life!). She is also not sure that she can handle being with her children 24/7! (I was totally SHOCKED when she told me this) She doesn't know how I do it!! Can you believe this? I have struggled SO MANY days with being home with all the children all the time. I kept thinking, if I were just more spiritual I wouldn't struggle so! I am here to say that one of the most Godly women I know is not sure she can handle being home with her children ALL THE TIME!!! Isn't that FREEING? Motherhood is not easy!!! I am feeling better about myself and my mothering every second. I hope that you are too!!
A New Normal
7 months ago
2 comments:
It's so easy for us to get caught up in the trap of comparing ourselves, our parenting, and our walk to others. I've been there, and I agree that it is so completely freeing to know that the women I feel I can't measure up to are real women with real problems and struggles, just like me.
It was this discovery that led me to my journey of 'being real.' I know that I'm barely treading water in some areas of my life, but other women just look and see the exterior - ministry leader, mother of 5, great husband... If I can offer even one woman the freedom that I found by being real in my life and in my walk, then I've honoured God.
God calls us to relationship, fellowship, and encouragement with other women. And comparisons are a trap of the enemy because they get in the way of true relationship. Judith, you honour the Lord in your 'realness' with us. Bless you. :)
We are always learning aren't we sis. Don't ever compare yourself to anyone else. God created you to be you ...and gifted you with everything He knew you needed to be a great wife, mother, and child of His.
Check out my new post ...long time I know.
Love Ya,
Your Big Brother
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