I am FREE
Most of you will have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, but for those of you who do....I am FREE and loving it!! I have been living under such bondage for almost two years now. I have isolated myself from people, all because I thought that someone didn't "LIKE ME".
Monday night when I left Bible Study, I realized that I couldn't live like this any longer. I had to go to this person and see what the Lord would do. I fasted and prayed all day Tuesday. Tuesday night I was "ready" to do it. I asked the person to come over to the cabin where I had spent my day. I asked her to share her heart with me. She was faithful in doing so and God really spoke to me. I realized that it was not a personality conflict. We actually like each other, we just don't understand each other. We are SOOOOOO different!! I want to be pursued, she is NOT a pursuer. I want to know that someone wants me around, she wants me to just trust that if she doesn't want me around she will tell me!! She expects me to feel the freedom to drop by her house anytime and just be a part of her life. I AM SO NOT THAT WAY. I want to be invited, because I don't want people just dropping in at my house if they plan on staying any length of time. It has taken me years to figure this out, but I think that I have it this time. I do not want to EVER again get to the point where we are not talking to each other. I went through something very similar with Jeff for years. I always felt like we were on opposite teams. I read something into most things that he said to me. Much prayer has gotten us to the point that we are at now. I do not struggle anymore with him. I now know for sure that we are on the same side no matter what. I am praying that I have the same kind of victory with this other person. I just have to always choose to trust her heart!! I am so glad that we are talking again!!
I just looked over my past posts. You all haven't gotten any pictures recently. I will post some tomorrow!!
Monday night when I left Bible Study, I realized that I couldn't live like this any longer. I had to go to this person and see what the Lord would do. I fasted and prayed all day Tuesday. Tuesday night I was "ready" to do it. I asked the person to come over to the cabin where I had spent my day. I asked her to share her heart with me. She was faithful in doing so and God really spoke to me. I realized that it was not a personality conflict. We actually like each other, we just don't understand each other. We are SOOOOOO different!! I want to be pursued, she is NOT a pursuer. I want to know that someone wants me around, she wants me to just trust that if she doesn't want me around she will tell me!! She expects me to feel the freedom to drop by her house anytime and just be a part of her life. I AM SO NOT THAT WAY. I want to be invited, because I don't want people just dropping in at my house if they plan on staying any length of time. It has taken me years to figure this out, but I think that I have it this time. I do not want to EVER again get to the point where we are not talking to each other. I went through something very similar with Jeff for years. I always felt like we were on opposite teams. I read something into most things that he said to me. Much prayer has gotten us to the point that we are at now. I do not struggle anymore with him. I now know for sure that we are on the same side no matter what. I am praying that I have the same kind of victory with this other person. I just have to always choose to trust her heart!! I am so glad that we are talking again!!
I just looked over my past posts. You all haven't gotten any pictures recently. I will post some tomorrow!!
2 Comments:
Thanks for sharing that story, Judith. I love how transparent you are because then we can all learn. (Can you tell I'm catching up on your blog today!)
By Pegsy, At November 2, 2007 at 12:57 PM
Peggy,
Yes, I did notice that you were commenting a lot today. I am finding it great fun to get a whole bunch of them at one time!!
Thanks ever so much for ALL your kind words.
By mylifewith5kids, At November 3, 2007 at 12:42 AM
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